The Kuonji Boy
by Beedok
Summary: Ukyo hss come after Ranma because he's seeking vengeance. He maybe just found a kindred spirit instead. (And yes, I'm using 'he' on purpose.)


"Ucchan!" the pigtailed boy declared as he bounded across the classroom, an infuriating smile on his face. "How are ya? It's been way too long!"

Ukyo narrowed his eyes to glare at the (annoyingly) taller boy. Was he really going to pretend to be friends after what happened? (It was also strange that Ranma didn't react to his being in a gakuran...)

"You have no reason to be happy to see me," Ukyo snapped, trying to resist the urge to punch the other lad here and now.

"Whaddya mean?" Ranma asked, pulling out a confused face that was... almost cute?

Ukyo shook his head. He wasn't going to get lured in so easily. "You and your dad stole my family's yattai!"

"You did what?" one of Ukyo's new classmates asked.

"Why did you steal from his family?" another asked.

"What's going on, Ranma?" a girl with short dark hair asked.

"I ain't stolen nothing!" Ranma protested, causing Ukyo's eye to twitch. "I remember Ucchan was pretty upset when I rode o—rode... what was I ridin'?"

Watching Ranma grow lost in thought, Ukyo decided to help him out a little.

"You were riding _my _yattai."

"Oh... I totally forgot about that, Ucchan. But, pops said your dad gave it to us?" Ranma asked, still looking so infuriatingly innocent.

"One: stop calling me Ucchan. It's Ukyo. I'm not five anymore. Two: it was part of a promise your father broke immediately. Therefore he was stealing," Ukyo replied flatly.

He was more than a little annoyed about having to explain _why_ he was seeking vengeance. Explanations just slowed the process down... and made him feel like he was so unimportant to Ranma that he could be forgotten so easily.

"Ah man... pops and his cons. Still, ya beat him up already. Ain't that enough?" Ranma asked.

"You betrayed me! We were best friends, and then you stole from me," Ukyo countered. "Meet me near the gym after classes. We'll settle this like men!"

With that, Ukyo turned to storm off dramatically. Maybe it wasn't going perfectly to plan, but he could save face with a proper exit.

"But, Ucchan, I didn't know pops had stolen it," Ranma protested from behind him.

Rage bubbling up, Ukyo spun around and glared at his former friend. "I _said_: don't call me UCCHAN!"

He'd blown his cool a little too much. Now everyone was staring at him confused, rather than thinking he was making a cool exit. Frazzled, he ran off, telling himself it would work out for the actual fight. He just had to prepare everything right. He could regain face when he beat Ranma in front of all of them.

* * *

Ukyo did have to admit the crowd showing up for his fight with Ranma was a pretty good size. It would make his victory all the sweeter when he defeated Ranma in the ring he'd prepared. Payoff for all those years of pushing his body past its (unfair) limits to be the fighter he was today.

Standing in his cook's uniform, his hair tied back efficiently, he waited for Ranma to show up...

His shoulders sank a little when he saw Ranma strolling up casually, looking more annoyed than anything.

"Seriously Uc-Ukyo... can't we just let bygones be bygones?" Ranma asked as he hopped up into the ring. "I mean, that was, like, ten years ago?"

"Stop trying to get out of this, Saotome," Ukyo snapped, his blood pressure rising. "We're fighting here and now!"

"Alright, alright," Ranma replied, arms lifted casually. "So, like, is there a ref to announce the start, or how are we doin' this? The ring seems real formal."

"We're starting... now!" Ukyo shouted, whipping packets of gunpowder tempura flakes Ranma's way.

"Woah, hey!" Ranma yelped as the packets exploded. "You could have at least done a cou-"

Ukyo swung his battle spatula before Ranma could finish the sentence. The pigtailed boy seemed downright offended to be interrupted, which made Ukyo smile a little. He was getting to throw off Ranma's pacing now. Another few swings caused Ranma to stumble over to the heated portion of the ring.

"Ouch, you could cook an egg on this thing!" Ranma yelped, hopping awkwardly to try to keep from touching the grill top too much.

"That's the idea," Ukyo replied, hopping back to grab some prepared glue batter and toss it at Ranma's feet.

"Gaah!" Ranma replied, trying to pull his feet out of the now cooking batter. "I'm stuck! What's in this stuff?"

"That's a family secret," Ukyo hissed. "And you're _definitely_ not family!"

Angry at himself for remembering just why his father had handed over his family yatai, Ukyo decided to take it out on Ranma, throwing some constricting noodles over to tie Ranma in place. Ranma squirmed to try and avoid them, but couldn't move very far with his feet glued in place.

"Y'know, all these tricks are getting annoying," Ranma said, the casual tone dropping from his voice. "I was tryin' to keep this friendly, since I wanted to keep at least _one _old friendship goin', but..."

Ranma's face scrunched up in determination, before the pigtailed boy broke open his noodle restraints with a yell. "I guess it's too late for bein' friends again."

Ranma then swung forward, his hands landing on the canvas area in the middle of the ring. He continued his momentum into a handstand, and then threw himself feet first at Ukyo. Or, more accurately, cooked glob of batter first.

Ukyo dodged the initial wall of burnt batter, but found himself still in grabbing range as Ranma's torso flew past. Ukyo had to admit that he was impressed by Ranma's ability to spin about in mid-air, swinging himself around Ukyo with just one hand, leaving the chef set falling forward with Ranma about to land on Ukyo's back.

Instinctively, Ukyo put his hands out to protect his face, only to wince in pain as they hit the hot griddle. Still, he'd built up enough calluses and heat tolerance over the years that he was able to scramble back without it hurting too badly. Even with Ranma sitting on his back.

A crunching noise caused Ukyo to look behind him, where he saw Ranma tearing apart the wad of batter attached to his feet with one of Ukyo's throwing spatulas.

When had Ranma grabbed that?

Ranma hopped off Ukyo's back and onto the canvas once again, slipping into a fighting stance. "So, ya ready to fight properly? No silly tricks? Just a good ol' fashioned man to man fight?"

Ukyo gritted his teeth and pushed himself to his feet from his vaguely push-up-like position (ignoring the pain in his hands, burnt from the grill). "Fine, I can beat you either way."

Ukyo drew his main battle spatula once again and charged Ranma. This time the pigtailed boy bounded out of the way, landing on the ropes of the ring. Ukyo tried not to be too impressed at the other boy's grace has he stood perfectly on the swinging ropes.

"Well, ya gotta be faster than that. Ya ain't bad, but I've been trainin' with this crazy old Chinese mummy who can move way faster than you," Ranma said, flashing a cocky smile.

Ukyo didn't have a snappy comeback. But he _did_ have throwing spatulas. They seemed a valid reply as he tossed a few Ranma's way. The pigtailed boy dodged, hopping over to a storage shed roof, and prompted Ukyo to give chase.

The pair bounded along the rooftops of Furinkan's high school and it's outbuildings, Ukyo not knowing the layout of the school well enough to guess where they'd gone. It didn't really matter either. Ukyo was too busy swinging and thrusting with his spatula, trying to land a decent blow on Ranma.

Deciding to sacrifice a bit of power for reach, Ukyo let the spatula fly forward in a swing, until he was only holding it by ring at the very end of the handle. The move caught Ranma off guard, the other boy's eyes widening with fear.

"Oomph," Ranma yelped as the spatula sliced through his shirt, and impacted into his torso.

The force, combined with Ranma's momentum from dodging caused the pigtailed boy to stumble off the outbuilding roof and fall through a window a floor below on the main school building.

Ukyo leapt in after Ranma, landing on broken glass and ceramic as he saw the other boy sprawled across two broken sinks (still spraying water everywhere). Only... only...

Only the soaked figure in front of Ukyo's silk shirt was torn open to show a pair of quite large breasts. Ukyo was briefly a bit distracted by the view and he found his cheeks growing hot.

"Oww, that hurt," Ranma said, sitting up and rubbing her head. "I guess I got a little too cocky..."

"R-Ranma... you're... are you a girl? Or..." Ukyo asked, trying not to be too distracted and not sure how to word his question.

Ranma looked down at her chest and let out a sigh. "It's, uh... it's a long story."

Ukyo felt his hatred draining away. Ranma... was Ranma was like him? Ukyo stepped forward and offered Ranma a hand up. Ranma stared at his hand a moment, no doubt a bit unsure about the sudden offer of friendship, but then smiled and accepted it.

"So, the fights over?" Ranma asked, smiling away.

Though, with Ranma back on his(?) feet, Ukyo realised that the height difference between them had more than reversed.

"Wait, how are you so small now? You were taller before?" Ukyo said, placing a hand on Ranma's head.

"Well, I picked up this curse in China, y'see," Ranma said. "When I hit cold water I'm a girl. And when I hit hot water..."

Ranma walked over to one of the intact sinks and turned the hot water on full blast, before putting a thumb the faucet so that it would spray hot water all over him(?). With that, the petite and curvy dark haired girl turned into a svelte lad who was maybe a hair above average height. "I end up a guy."

Ukyo stared for a moment. The transformation looked so easy. And it was so quick. To think that something like that might exist... Ukyo walked over, placing his own thumb on the faucet and cranked the cold water, drenching Ranma.

The adorable short girl was back.

Cranking the hot water and (after the moment it took the sink to heat up) Ranma looked like a guy again.

Cold and it was curvy cutie once again.

Hot. Boy. Cold. Girl. Hot. Boy. Cold. Girl.

"Are ya done?" Ranma asked, spitting a bit of water out of her(?) mouth.

"I..." Ukyo didn't know what to say, just nodding. His brain didn't know how to process all of this. "But... but, which _are_ you? A boy or a girl?"

"Uhh," Ranma took a moment to look down at a currently generous chest, then back up with adorable and confused looking eyes. "Girl right now?"

"But, like... in your heart?" Ukyo asked, hoping that would clarify it.

"In my heart? I... like, I was born a guy, so... I'm supposed to be one, I guess?" Ranma offered with a shrug. "Don't tell pops, but it don't really make a big difference to me. I just say I'm a guy because it's what people want me to say, but... just bein' me, that's all I care about."

Ukyo could only stare. Ranma... didn't care? How could someone just _not care_? After struggling for most of his life to get counted as one of the guys... Ukyo couldn't understand not caring either way.

"Is everythin' okay, Ucchan?" Ranma asked, her feminine voice sounding so soft... and reminding Ukyo of what Ranma had sounded like when they were kids.

"Did you know that we're engaged?" Ukyo asked, not sure why he said it.

"What? Pops engaged me to another guy?" Ranma yelped. "I know my hair was always kinda long, but so was yours? So why would your dad think I was a girl?"

Ukyo's defenses were down. All that rage he'd built up over the years had been dissolved into confusion, but he knew he wanted to be honest with Ranma. Maybe Ranma could understand him? No one else seemed to...

"He didn't think you were a girl. He thought I was," Ukyo replied.

"You? Why would your old man think his own son was a girl?" Ranma asked, looking up at Ukyo with adorably confused eyes.

Ukyo untied his cooking uniform, trying not to feel too self conscious as he let it fall open to show Ranma his... chest. Bound as it was.

"Y-you've been to Jusenkyo too?" Ranma asked, staring in confusion.

Ukyo blushed and pulled the jacket closed again. "N-no... I... I'm a guy. My body and its hormones are trying to disagree though."

"I... I ain't really sure I follow, Ucchan," Ranma said.

Ukyo tied his jacket back up as he tried to explain it more clearly. "Think about it like if you'd been born in your cursed mode, but being a guy really did matter to you?"

"That'd suck," Ranma said. "It'd be like before I had the curse, and sometimes I'd want to do somethin', but pops would say it was a thing for 'girls only', but it'd be bein' told things were 'boys only' and it bein' basically everything you wanted to do?"

"Uh.. yeah. Kind of like that," Ukyo replied. "I mean, not _everything_, but enough things. It didn't really hit me until my dad explained after you and your dad left that I was supposed to go with you specifically so I could end up being your wife... and I realised I wasn't just a girl for a bit, as some annoying part of childhood. That I was set to grow up into a woman instead of a man. And... I guess I kind of blamed you and your dad for that revelation. Like it was somehow your fault, because of the engagement promise."

"Well... even with ya havin' shown me what ya showed: you still look like a guy to me," Ranma said, crossing her arms in an authoritative way. "A real handsome one, if I'm bein' honest."

Ukyo felt his cheeks grow hot at that... but wasn't too distracted to notice the way that Ranma blushed upon realising what she'd said. And that her blush wasn't just on her face anymore, having spread to her chest and her ears.

She was so cute.

Ukyo was quickly realising it wasn't exactly feelings of _friendship_ replacing his quest for revenge right now. In fact, eventually marrying Ranma sounded pretty good right now (as long as he got to be a groom).

"I... I ain't never said that sorta thing about a guy before," Ranma muttered, her cheeks still red. (And, now that her hair had dried, Ukyo noticed it had a slight reddish tint, unlike her boy mode that was slightly blue). "W-well, I suppose you are my fiancé, so... I'm allowed to say that. You're my-my handsome fiancé."

Just as Ranma said that, the door opened to reveal the short haired girl from before. "There you are, Ranma, are you o—wait, what did you just say?"

Suddenly Ranma blushed so much it was like she was red from head to toe. "I... uh... Akane, meet Ukyo, my handsome fiancé. And, uh... Ucchan, meet Akane... my, uh, my fiancée."

"What?" Akane asked, looking utterly confused. "He was trying to kill you ten minutes ago... did he propose? And you're in girl mode with your shirt cut—Did you seduce him?"

"Yes, I definitely seduced him. That's me, the master seductress... mistress seductress?" Ranma said, seeming to grow lost in trying to figure out what the correct feminine term was. "I should pay more attention in Japanese class."

"Well, if you didn't seduce him, how are you two engaged? You're both guys?" Akane asked.

"It's a complicated story," Ukyo began, not sure how he'd get out of this without outing himself to this girl now...

"I, uh, I was really slow about understandin' the difference between girls and guys as a kid," Ranma half shouted as she hopped between Ukyo and Akane. "And-and, uh, as kids I promised to marry him someday. Mostly because I loved his cooking, and about all I knew about married couples was that one of 'em cooked for the other one. I mean, not that I _only_ liked his cooking. We were pals. But I wanted to marry him because of his cookin' and.. I mean, his cookin' _is_ really good. Oy, you should make Akane some, Ucchan. You've got all your equipment for that and stuff, right?"

Slightly lost by Ranma's rambling, Ukyo found himself forgetting the important matter at hand. (He always liked the chance to show off his cooking too.) "I'm actually opening a restaurant in town. Everything's set up. I just have to wait on the health inspector to give me the okay to open. I could bring you two over for an early sample?"

"Wait, but what about the engagement?" Akane asked. "Are you trying to tell me that he's decided to hold you to that promise just because you've got a girl curse? And that you're happy with that, Ranma?"

"I... maybe?" Ranma offered. "I don't know."

The small (part time) girl turned to Ukyo, her eyes looking nervous and... maybe a little scared, before she turned back away from him and to look at Akane.

"There... there's stuff we've got in common that I don't wanna just abandon. So... so..."

Ukyo winced a bit at the hurt look in Akane's eyes. He didn't know her... well, at all, but seeing anyone hurting like that because of him wasn't his idea of fun.

"What about us?" Akane asked, looking like she might start crying.

"I... I... there's promises for both of ya. How am I supposed to decide right now?" Ranma replied.

Akane's eye twitched before she marched over to a sink, cranking the hot water to spray Ranma (and Ukyo, to a lesser extent). Instantly, Ranma shot up a good 15cm (at least), and was now the tallest, rather than the shortest, person in the room.

"How about now, Ranma?" Akane asked, her voice too filled with emotions for Ukyo to hope to read. "Do you still think you could marry him now?"

There was a brief silence that made Ukyo nervous.

"Whaddya mean 'now'?" Ranma said at last.

"W-well, you're a guy now?" Akane replied, before turning her eyes to Ukyo. "And what about you? Are you still interested in Ranma when he's a guy?"

Ukyo wanted to say yes immediately, but this flush of emotions had hit while Ranma was in girl mode... was he actually sure he'd like both of Ranma's faces?

And then he saw the nervous look Ranma was giving him, those same adorable big blue eyes looking desperate for _something_.

"Ranma's Ranma. Maybe I like being the taller one when Ranma's a girl, but Ranma became my best friend well before he had any curses," Ukyo replied.

Seeing calm return to Ranma's eyes made Ukyo's heart flutter.

"Fine. I'll tell Kasumi to pack up your things so you can live with your future husband!" Akane blurted at Ranma, spinning around and storming out of the room, visibly trembling as she did so.

Ranma hurried ahead a few steps, reaching the doorway not too far behind Akane.

"Don't follow me!" Akane's voice shouted, causing Ranma to freeze as his pigtail shot up in fear.

There were a few moments of silence before Ranma turned to Ukyo, pain in his eyes. "I think she hates me now?"

Ukyo found himself biting his tongue. He _wanted_ to say yes. Then he could have Ranma to himself so easily. But, did he want to 'win' Ranma with a lie?

No, if Ranma was going to choose him, he wanted it to be honest.

"She doesn't hate you. She's hurt," Ukyo said, as much as it hurt him to admit it. "So, who are you going to choose to go with right now?"

Ranma looked out to the hallway for a moment, then back to Ukyo. Then back out the hallway, where he took a half step before stopping himself.

"I left you for ten years. I can leave Akane for a day," Ranma said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than anything. He turned to Ukyo with a gentle smile. "I need to get to know you again. And make sure your cookin' is as good as I remembered when I said I'd marry you."

"What do you mean?" Ukyo asked. "D-didn't you just make that up?"

Ranma gave a playful grin. "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't."

Ukyo's heart skipped a beat with that smile. He was so definitely in love.

If only his happiness wasn't making someone else so unhappy...

* * *

"Wake up sleepy head," Ranma's voice said softly, somewhere just a few centimetres to Ukyo's left.

The chef opened his eyes and turned to see Ranma's handsome face, and couldn't help smiling. Even if it was a view he'd seen a lot these past few months. (Almost every morning if you considered both Ranma's faces one view.)

"I've got breakfast ready," Ranma said, sitting up.

"You've gotten downright domestic, you know that, Ranma?" Ukyo half mumbled as he sat up, trying not to laugh.

"I'm just more of a morning person than you," Ranma replied. "I know that by the time you get up it's too late to start cooking."

"Well, sorry that closing the restaurant up at night keeps me up late," Ukyo said, his tone overly dramatic as he hopped to his feet.

The pair headed downstairs and ate with quiet efficiency. Then it was time to get dressed, Ukyo wrapping himself up (efforts to get his hands on Nannichuan had so far failed... Ryoga and Mousse always found out, and the water always ended up wasted), and the pair headed out.

It wasn't too far into their walk that the pair ran into Akane and the new 'freeloader' at the Tendo home (as Nabiki insisted on calling her): Konatsu.

"You don't have to carry my bookbag," Akane said as the pair entered earshot.

"Nonsense, Akane-sama. I must repay your kindness for taking me in," the elegant ninja girl replied. "And ensuring I can go to school. And letting me see your beautiful face every day."

Akane was visibly blushing at that.

"You two seem to be getting along," Ukyo said as he and Ranma walked up to the pair of girls.

"I don't see how anyone could _not_ like being around Akane-sama," Konatsu replied cheerfully. "She's so wonderfully kind. Just being around her is a blessing I am not worthy of."

Ukyo tried not to laugh at how red Akane was turning. It was nice to see her happy again, after all he'd done with stealing Ranma away.

"Hold up!" a familiar voice shouted from behind the quartet.

Turning, Ukyo saw a rather dirty Ryoga with twigs in his hair pointing a finger aggressively. "Who do you think you are, flirting with Akane-san so blatantly?"

"Wait... me?" Konatsu asked, turning to the others in confusion.

"Yes you, you... you... I didn't see how cute you were when you were looking the other way," Ryoga stammered. "Uh... gimme a minute to come up with a good insult. Even if you're c-cute... that doesn't excuse trying to steal Akane!"

"Oh my! Are you and Akane-sama dating?" Konatsu asked.

"Well... we've maybe gone on a date or two... but I don't think you'd really call it anything steady," Akane replied.

Ukyo noticed she'd not mentioned that those dates had been mostly about trying to make Ranma jealous than anything else.

"But, does that make him your boyfriend? Does this mean you do not wish for me to compliment you any longer, Akane-sama?" Konatsu asked.

"I... uh..." Akane stammered.

"Good luck, Tendo," Ukyo said, trying not to grin too much.


End file.
